Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
