Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
