i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
