VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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