But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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