Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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