My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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