I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
