At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
