hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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