i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
