Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
