We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
