Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So vagazzling was a success
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize