Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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