just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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