If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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