So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
