So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
