Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
