i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
