I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
