i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
