next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
