So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
