It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
