we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
