Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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