Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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