At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
