sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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