Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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