think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
