They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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