Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize