Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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