A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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