I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
