Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
