How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
