I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
