She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
