I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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