So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
