I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was like eating out sand paper
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
