Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
