And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
