Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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