i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
