ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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