I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
