What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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