JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
