his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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