im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Damn victory sex feels great
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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