If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
