I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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