the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
