Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
