Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize