its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
