I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
